10 Science-Backed Ways to Show Your Dog Love (in a Way They Understand)

💖 Love Your Pet Day is the perfect time to reflect on how we express love to our dogs. While we might shower them with hugs and baby talk, dogs have their own ways of understanding affection. The key to deepening your bond is through trust, communication, and meeting their needs in a way that feels natural to them.

Here are 10 scientifically supported ways to show your dog love—by building trust, strengthening your bond, and making them feel safe and understood.

1. Respect Their Boundaries: The 5-Second Petting Test

💡 Science Says: Many dogs don’t love petting as much as humans assume. A 2021 study found that dogs often tolerate touch rather than actively seek it out, especially when petting is unsolicited or in uncomfortable areas (Kujala et al., 2021). Dogs also communicate subtle stress signals when they’re uncomfortable, including lip licking, yawning, turning their head away, or freezing.

Misreading these signals can damage trust, while respecting their body language strengthens your bond and makes them feel secure.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Pet your dog for 5 seconds, then pause. If they lean in, they want more. If they move away, respect their choice.

✅ Watch which part of their body they put near your hand—that’s where they enjoy being petted most!

📌 Example: Instead of reaching over their head, let your dog guide where they want affection.

2. Set Them Up for Success

💡 Science Says: Dogs learn best when training is structured for success and reinforced positively. Studies show that punishment-based training methods can cause stress, anxiety, and increased behavioral problems (Ziv, 2017), while positive reinforcement helps dogs learn faster, retain information longer, and build trust with their handler.

Additionally, research suggests that setting dogs up to avoid mistakes in the first place (rather than constantly correcting them) makes learning less frustrating and more effective.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Keep training fun and rewarding, rather than frustrating.

✅ Start with easy wins before adding difficulty—set them up for success!

✅ Use management and set up the environment to prevent mistakes rather than constantly correcting them.

📌 Example: Instead of expecting your dog to behave in a crowded park right away, start in a quiet area and gradually increase distractions.

3. Give Them Choices & Control

💡 Science Says: Dogs, like humans, feel more confident and less anxious when they have some control over their experiences. Research on canine welfare suggests that allowing dogs to make small, safe choices in their daily lives helps them feel more secure and engaged (Gaines, 2008).

Too much restriction or forced interaction can create stress, avoidance behaviors, or learned helplessness, where a dog shuts down due to feeling powerless.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Let them sniff and choose the walking route.

✅ Offer two toy options and let them pick.

✅ Respect when they opt-out of interaction instead of forcing engagement.

📌 Example: If they hesitate before approaching a new person or dog, let them decide whether they want to interact—don't force it.

4. Engage Their Instincts with Enrichment

💡 Science Says: Dogs have natural instincts for sniffing, foraging, hunting, digging, and problem-solving. A lack of mental stimulation can lead to boredom, frustration, and even behavioral issues (Tiira & Lohi, 2014).

Research shows that dogs who engage in regular enrichment activities experience lower stress levels, improved problem-solving skills, and higher overall well-being.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Let them go on sniffari walks where they explore at their own pace.

✅ Provide puzzle feeders and foraging games instead of just a food bowl.

✅ Give them an approved digging area if they love to dig!

📌 Example: Scatter their kibble in the grass or hide treats in a snuffle mat—it turns mealtime into a fun and rewarding activity.

5. Talk to Them Like a Friend

💡 Science Says: Dogs process human speech in two separate brain regions—one for emotion/tone and one for actual words (Andics et al., 2016). This means that both what we say and how we say it matter.

A 2018 study found that dogs respond more positively to natural, engaging speech, much like how we talk to babies (Benjamin & Slocombe, 2018).

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Use an encouraging, warm tone when talking to them.

✅ Praise their efforts, not just successes—even when they almost get it right!

✅ Narrate their good choices: “Wow, you’re walking so nicely with me!”

📌 Example: If your dog sits but hesitates, say, “That’s a great try!” instead of just waiting for perfection.

6. Be Fully Present with Them

💡 Science Says: Dogs sense when we’re paying attention and respond accordingly. They form stronger social bonds with humans who actively engage with them (Andics et al., 2016).

Being present also improves training success, play engagement, and trust-building.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Put away your phone and focus on them during training, play, and walks.

✅ Match their enthusiasm—if they get excited, get excited too!

✅ Engage in the moment—watch what they watch, be part of their world.

📌 Example: Instead of checking emails during a walk, pause and see what they find interesting!

7. Use Massage to Release the Love Hormone

💡 Science Says: Gentle touch releases oxytocin (the “love hormone”) in both dogs and humans, which reduces stress and strengthens the human-dog bond (Nagasawa et al., 2015).

Research shows that massage and physical contact can lower heart rate and cortisol levels, making dogs more relaxed and receptive to social bonding.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Gently massage their ears, shoulders, or chest to help them relax.

✅ Watch their response—if they lean in, keep going!

✅ Use massage before bedtime to help them wind down.

📌 Example: A 5-minute ear massage can reduce anxiety before stressful events like vet visits.

8. Play the Way They Like

💡 Science Says: Play is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen the human-dog bond. A 2002 study found that interactive play increases social bonding and engagement between dogs and their humans (Rooney & Bradshaw, 2002).

However, not all dogs play the same way! Some love to chase, some prefer tug, and others enjoy wrestling. For play to be truly meaningful, we should match their preferences and energy levels, rather than expecting them to conform to a game they don’t enjoy.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Let them choose the type of play they enjoy most (chase, tug, or wrestling).

✅ Mimic their movements—if they bow, bow back!

✅ Let them win—but not too easily!

📌 Example: If your dog loves tug-of-war, don’t just hold the toy still—make it move like real prey, let them pull hard, and always let them win to boost their confidence.

9. Meet Their Needs Based on Their Daily Mood

💡 Science Says: While routines are helpful, studies suggest that dogs don’t thrive on rigid schedules alone—instead, they benefit from having their mental, physical, and social needs met in ways that vary based on their mood, energy levels, and environmental factors (Tiira & Lohi, 2014).

For example, some days your dog may have extra energy and need a high-energy activity like fetch or flirt pole play, while other days they may prefer a slow sniffari walk or puzzle game. Providing flexibility and adapting to their needs each day helps them feel fulfilled.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Change up walk locations and activities for mental stimulation.

✅ Offer different types of food enrichment instead of just a bowl.

✅ Adjust playtime based on their energy and engagement levels.

📌 Example: If your dog seems tired, instead of forcing a long-structured walk, try a calm sniffari or gentle massage session instead.

10. Be Their Safe Space—And Advocate for Them

💡 Science Says: A dog’s trust in their human is built through consistent emotional safety and advocacy. Research on canine attachment behaviors shows that dogs rely on their humans as a secure base—just like children do with their parents (Topál et al., 1998).

If a dog is exposed to overwhelming environments too soon (such as busy public places before they are ready), it can erode trust and create anxiety. Instead, introducing new places and experiences gradually helps build confidence without forcing them into uncomfortable situations.

🛠 How to Show Love:

✅ Avoid overwhelming environments they aren’t ready for.

✅ Introduce new places gradually—start with quiet areas first.

✅ Advocate for them—if they seem uncomfortable, step in and remove them.

📌 Example: Instead of taking a nervous dog to a crowded café right away, start by sitting outside at a quiet time and rewarding calm behavior.

Love is About Trust & Understanding

Dogs don’t understand love through hugs and kisses—they feel love through trust, choice, engagement, and emotional safety. By applying these science-backed methods, you’ll build a stronger, happier, and more confident bond with your dog.